Life is hard. we've decided to do it anyway.
|
Welcome to our journey. You may be interested to see where our travels lead us--we are, too! Our postings will seem like there are three of us, but really we are a family of six who have had some major stuff come our way in recent years. This journey began with just one head--Pat's--experiencing a massive brain bleed. Once he started the trend, all of our lives really did turn on their heads. Because we're all connected, you see...
|
/Grief/shock +
|
|
Here we all are in November of 2014, two months into an eventual 4 months of hospital stays. It was a huge moment for us all to be together and have Pat actually able to stand with us. He couldn't walk at that point. They didn't think he ever would.
|
how we got here |
where we're going |
|
When my husband’s brain exploded on September 13th, 2014, our lives exploded along with it. Just as he has physically healed in some ways while leaving lots of gaps, we are all limping toward our new existence today, more than three years later. It all feels new and fresh, like it's happening anew each and every day. Because it's not in our past. We live its aftermath every day.
One Saturday morning I had a series of what seemed to be accidental calls from my husband. On the fourth answer, I heard a woman's voice asking, “Is this your wife?” Then she explained—“I am at the soccer field with your husband. Your son is fine. Your husband is not. We’ve called an ambulance.” I asked, “Do you think he’s having a heart attack?” She replied, “I don’t want to diagnose him, but we think he’s having a stroke.” I still have no idea who she was. The following hour is a blur. Calling my sister. Trying to find out where the field was, how to get to it. Racing, racing. I was scared, but today I know that I wasn’t scared enough. I should have been petrified. I had no idea that our lives had changed for always. I could have slowed down. It had all already happened. Our future had already been determined. ...which brings us to today. Pat still continues to improve on all planes in the typical manner of recovery--progress then regression...progress then regression...We continue to strive to wrap our minds around this new existence, to adapt and move forward. It's harder than it sounds, because up until now, it hasn't felt like something we could just choose to do. He can't just choose to be better. I can't just choose to not have ongoing challenges of my own. And yet-- In September of 2017 my dad died, quickly and efficiently, as was his way. Life turned on its head yet again. And I decided it was time to choose--something. So we are choosing adventure. We are choosing to experience life lived through our raw and imperfect bodies rather than stagnation and waiting. It's exciting. It's scary. It's overwhelming. So, life, right? |
Away. We are going away. Exactly where away is is less important than the process of going. While withdrawing a child from school and hitting the road (by plane) may sound impulsive to some, it's actually a very controlled adventure. We'll be staying with or near people who we are close and have deep history with. We are visiting people we love in warm places because--well, because we can and even as I write these words I can hear the snow and wind outside my window and my soul is begging for the warm and the sea. Part of actively living is giving ourselves what we need. So--warm.
We will be in California, Arizona, Seattle (briefly), and Florida. That'll take us to spring back home. We'll spend some time back here in PA, reflect, and decide what comes next. We'll let you know when we do. |
What do you need to do in order to move forward?
|
We are students of resilience. Are you? If so, what have you found? We're interested--we're just making this up as we go along. Shoot us an email or post as a comment on my blog.
